What makes something a secret watch? Secret watches are usually trashy reality TV shows like Say Yes to the Dress, or shows that sit within a niche that you don’t publicly show an interest in, think Forged in Fire. Similar to a guilty pleasure, often they are things you find yourself binge watching when no one else is around and are shows you wouldn’t necessarily want to admit watching as much as you do. My taste level is questionable at the best of times so my secret watches are usually part of my revenge bedtime procrastination and are things even I am embarrassed to admit I’m watching, when I’m caught pottering around the house with my phone open on YouTube, which makes I’d Do Anything a perfect place to start.
I’d Do Anything burst on to our Saturday night screens in March 2008. Yes, you read that right, 2008! I watched the show when it originally aired on BBC1 but during Lockdown 3 I stumbled across all the episodes on YouTube and couldn’t help myself! It was comforting, it was cringey, it was so old but with the theatre industry on it’s knees it was a grateful reminder of the joy of musical theatre and live performance.
The basic premise of the show is that Andrew Lloyd Webber is searching for the next ‘Nancy’ and ‘Oliver’ to star in the new West End production of the musical Oliver! Each week the contestants fight for their place in the competition by performing solo and group numbers and are judged by an expert panel who sit alongside Andrew. It is classic Saturday night TV, which is basically just trying to create the vibe of a good night out in your living room. I’d Do Anything has the glossy studio floor, the live studio audience in bespoke printed t-shirts of their chosen Nancy and all the judges and contestants are dressed up like they’re heading to a noughties wine bar.
The judging panel is made up of John Barrowman, Denise Van Outen and Barry Humphries, who was a seasoned Fagin, and has that quality, reserved for old white men of a certain age, where you’re constantly waiting for something inappropriate to come out of their mouth. Graham Norton does a great job of wrangling them, giving them space to critique in their own signature way whether that be shouting adjectives in the Nancy’s faces, giving them impossible notes like showing more warmth, but remembering to stay tough or just telling them that they certainly look like a Nancy… whatever that means.
In each episode the contestants start the show in their pantomime style ‘Victorian prostitute dress’, with the bardot neckline, a corset and a big skirt with petticoats. Each Nancy has their own colour which is then referenced in their individual performance looks. These looks are all variations on ‘things you would wear to prom.’ So for example if your Nancy dress is yellow, your performance look might be a strapless, yellow mini dress and you might be singing Simply the Best. If your Nancy dress is green, you might wear a spaghetti strap, A-line, midi dress and sing Hopelessly Devoted to You. All the Nancy’s also wear a huge locket which plays a crucial part later on in the show.
Besides the costumes and colour choices there are some other elements of the show that I love to hate:
- The judging panel bowing to Andrew Lloyd Webber every time he is introduced. The studio goes dark and flashes with green lights as the camera swoops above the judges, who bow mechanically at Lloyd Webber, while The Phantom of the Opera plays.
- John Barrowman’s judging rule of three: shouting the same adjective at the Nancy’s for impact. ‘That was fantastic, fantastic, fantastic!’ or in response to Rachel Tucker’s rendition of Cabaret in the semi-finals, simply, ‘You are Rachel, Rachel, Rachel!’ in case we had forgotten!
- The shows obsession with age, pitting the ‘old’ contestants (aged 26-28) with the younger ones (aged 17-19).
- The ‘Battle of the Trios’, where the oldest contestants went head to head with the youngest and in the choreography the older ones were given canes, just to really hammer home that these women (in their late 20’s) are ancient.
- The fact that the Nancy voted off at the end of the week has their Nancy locket ripped from their throat by the contestant who out sung them. Then despite having just been eliminated they then have to sing the big final notes of As Long As He Needs Me, when they probably just want to go and have a cry.
Although the contestants are diverse in age the show has a real lack of racial diversity. There are two contestants of colour and Denise Van Outen appears to have a real issue with Keisha, throughout her time on the show. She constantly berates Keisha for not showing enough emotional depth or connecting with the lyrics even when she’s singing, P!nk’s Get the Party Started, which is literally about going to a party. We also see the biased behaviour of the United Kingdom voting en masse, as Keisha repeatedly ends up in the bottom two and on the night she is eventually eliminated, Andrew Lloyd Webber walks off the set in anger at her untimely exit.
The show is peppered with contestants that would eventually go on to have established careers in theatre. As well as the winner, Jodie Prenger, we meet Rachel Tucker, who went on to be the West End’s longest serving Elphaba in Wicked, and who prior to lockdown was starring in Come From Away on Broadway. Samantha Barks, who was a firm favourite and as a result went into Les Miserables, playing the role of Eponine in the 2012 film. Barks is about to open as Elsa in Frozen when theatres re-open later this year. We also meet Jessie Buckley who has gone on to have a star-studded career in film, TV and theatre. She recently starred in the National Theatre’s production of Romeo and Juliet made for film as a result of Covid-19, the film aired on Sky in April and is still available to watch on Sky or Now TV.
As well as the Nancys, Lloyd Webber is on the search for the Olivers. I had a little look into the Oliver’s and found that one of the finalist Kwayedza, now known as Kwaye, has released a number of singles including Sweetest Life, which has a gorgeously vibrant video, that makes me want to book a flight to L.A immediately. They also recently released their new single Runaway which has a more chilled, stripped back vibe.
As secret watches go, this one ticks a lot of the boxes, niche musical theatre references, 13 years out of date and 22 episodes to get through (including the results shows). A lot of the performers featured are instantly recognisable as staples of the contemporary theatre scene, and in a time where life keeps changing, there is something comforting about binge watching a reality singing competition and knowing exactly what is going to happen.
If you want to watch I’d Do Anything, all the episodes are on YouTube.
I’d love to know what your secret watches are, so let me know in the comments or on Twitter or Instagram.
Midnight Culture 