I want to take you back: it is 2003 you’ve had a long day, you’ve just had your dinner and you’re sitting down for an evening of quality entertainment. You flick through the channels and you end up on ITV. A woman croons the titular lyrics to ‘Come Fly With Me’ and the image of an aeroplane flies over the words ‘Airline’.
Airline aired from 1998 to 2007 initially following the staff of Britannia Airways (Brit-who?) for one season and then everyone’s favourite budget airline EasyJet. I consider Airline to now be a period piece, with much of the drama hinging on a now obsolete ‘check-in’ process. For anyone who doesn’t remember, back in the day you could only check in for your flight physically at the airport,. This meant you would have to arrive at least two hours before departure to ensue you checked in on time. Sometimes the queue for check-in would be over an hour and with flight check-ins closing thirty minutes before their departure it made flying a lot more stressful. Nowadays, you can check-in online over a week before you fly making flying a lot easier, although I think anyone over twenty-five still travels with the residual trauma of the check-in queue!
As humans I think we are fascinated by other people in peril. We like to live vicariously through other people’s poor choices and watch the unimaginable play out in front of us. As an anxious traveller, I famously don’t relax until I’m in the queue to board the plane so the idea of missing a flight gives me the same queasy feeling you might get at the apex of a rollercoaster. Maybe this is why I have become so obsessed with these clips, for the late-night thrill it gives my often anxious brain. On the flip side there are other people who get no pleasure watching the emotional turmoil experienced by people at a check-in desk, so this is where the secret watching comes in, I know this is definitely not something that everyone would find entertaining but once I discovered these clips being re-uploaded to YouTube I would eagerly await the new upload each week!
The Arthur TV YouTube channel is a hub of reality tv, compiled, reviewed and reviled by the host Arthur Frederick. Arthur rose to YouTube fame, following his first upload and review of Airline, titled ‘Airline Passengers Losing Their Sh*t’. It was a compilation of some of the most outrageous outbursts from unhappy passengers from the show Airline which was celebrating it’s 20th anniversary that year. Arthur’s commentary was minimal in the first video but following the success of the original upload, he created a whole series of eighteen videos revealing more of his acerbic wit with each one.
The series highlights the heroic effort of several key members of EasyJet staff who we see face a whole roster, of rude, overemotional passengers. We follow staff like straight-talking, hard as nails Liverpudlian, Leanne Cheung who’s style of customer service is at best: abrasive. Over at Luton, we meet Jane Boulten, the mythical Karen-whisperer, who takes no shit and of course the break out star of the series, Leo Jones, affectionately called Saint Leo, by Arthur in his videos. Arthur is such a fan of Leo’s work on Airline that to round off the series of Airline Freak Outs Leo joins him for a few special episodes and they watch clips together with Leo sharing little bonus nuggets of information. (You know how much I love a bonus feature!)
The early noughties vibe of the show reminds me of TV dinners and evenings after school and the overwhelming nostalgia is one of the things that keep me coming back. The other thing that keeps me coming back is my fascination with how humans handle stress, what we do when we’re met with sinking feeling of our hearts dropping to the bottom of our stomachs and watching the cogs turn as people try to back peddle, re-route and frantically find solutions in chaotic situations.
Here are the best of the best, as highlighted on Arthur TV.
The Mouse Lady (Airline Passengers Losing Their Sh*t #2)
Now I couldn’t start anywhere else but here with the ultimate Airline freak out. After arriving too late to check in, it is revealed that passenger, Michelle Selinger (dressed in a classic ‘I work in academia’ coat) has a VERY important meeting set up in Barcelona with a group of teachers. Having previously cancelled on them, if she can’t get on her flight she will have to phone up and let them down all over again and the thought of that is so unbearable it drives her to complete mouse-like hysterics. She begs with the EasyJet team (it has a real Ian Beale ‘I’ve got nothing left’ energy) throwing out phrases like ‘Please don’t do this to me,’ and ‘You’ve got not idea how important this is…’ It is everyone’s professional worst nightmare!
(Side note: I did google Michelle Selinger and she is still working in the university/education sector, so all was well in the end but I do wonder if she was ever contracted in Barcelona again!)
My favourite quote: ‘I’m going to have to phone up twice [puts head on the counter and sobs].’
The Viola Man (APLTS #7)
I love this one purely for the dramatic earnestness of the passenger. The passenger is travelling home from Luton to Zurich with a rare viola worth over £150,000, which in his own words ‘could in no way survive the hold’. My first thought is if you are travelling with something so valuable that you refer to it as if it were living, why on earth are you flying with it on EasyJet? He is insistent that Leo Jones looks at the viola to prove its majesty. He presents the viola, explaining that it is 200 years old and one of a kind. I hate to break it to him but considering EasyJet refuse to bend their rules and regulations for even the most tear-stained and red faced of passengers, I don’t think they are going to be moved by the inanimate viola. Ultimately, after refusing to check the viola into the hold again at the gate and accusing EasyJet of wanting the instrument dead, he gets it safely stowed on board with him.
My favourite quote:
Viola Man: ‘If it goes in the hold, it’s too cold- it dies.’
EasyJet Staff: ‘What do you mean it dies? It’s only an instrument, sir.’
Viola Man: ‘No it is the wood, it is a viola.’
The Loyal Customer (APLTS #14)
This one is entertaining because it is clear that this man is so used to getting his way, that he cannot fathom the possibility that despite turning up a day late for his flight, he is not going to be able to talk his way out of paying for a new plane ticket. Rory Dorman name checks Stelios (EasyJet’s founder) as if he knows him personally and he tries to play several other cards of familiarity including: ‘I travel with you every single week, I must be your most loyal customer’ and then when all else fails he plays the the trump card, asking to speak to the manager and you can see the moment the light leave his eyes when he is told he is already speaking to her. Devastating.
My favourite quote: ‘I remember in the early days when he (Stelios) first started, he was hungry for success. I got a flight out of Athens, two hours delayed and we all got new flights and a lovely dinner.’
The Women in the Coffee Shop (APLTS #12)
This is another entitled Airline passenger, Susie Watson, who despite having been told to go straight to the departure lounge after checking in, for some reason sat and waited in the coffee shop at check-in. I don’t really understand this as all the best cafes and restaurants are in the departure lounge anyway and surely she would have known she hadn’t gone through security. What is so brilliant is that despite all Susie’s flapping and childlike sulking (in an excellent cardigan I might add) the staff are completely unimpressed. Airline customer service icon Jane Boulten, slaps down every excuse Susie throws at her making for a very entertaining watch.
My favourite quote:
‘Well we can’t get you on that flight now because it’s already been up in the air for [checks watch] nearly an hour.’
The Wedding Couple (APLTS #10)
This one is actually really lovely. A young couple travelling for a friend’s wedding in Glasgow just miss their flight check-in by a five minutes and are absolutely devastated. Saint Leo is on the case but with it being Friday night and flights being fully booked they are not having much luck. With an eleventh hour cancellation, the couple get on a late flight to Glasgow and Leo joyfully waves them off from the tarmac. This one is a little slice of wholesome, positive content in amongst all the angry, stressed out passengers usually featured.
My favourite quote: ‘When you’re dealing with something and you have it for a couple of hours, you do become attached to it and that’s what’s happened in this instance and I just feel awful for her.’
The EasyJet Christmas Party (APLTS #6)
I LOVE a Christmas special! I am counting down the weeks until we are in full Christmas fever over here on Midnight Culture. The EasyJet Christmas party is a big deal; a black tie, masked ball with a generous free bar, it is a chance for the team, who spend their days battling with the general public, to receive some serious compensation. There is some great footage of the team clinking very noughties looking glasses of wine and chanting ‘Down in one’ and everyone is smoking inside. Jane Boulten looks pure FIRE and Leo makes (very public, snoggy) amends with his girlfriend Mel and they get back together just in time for Christmas. We love a happy, festive ending!
My favourite quote: ‘They said it was only four free drinks… I’ve had TEN.’
For binge watchers and reality TV lovers everywhere, I couldn’t recommend Arthur TV more, not just for your Airline fix but Arthur has videos on 90 Day Fiancé, Come Dine With Me and Extreme Cheapskates. Perfect for all you secret watchers out there!
Midnight Culture 